


Paul mertens vs the christian brutal sniper

by SkeletonHypetrain



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 04:31:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15477732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletonHypetrain/pseuds/SkeletonHypetrain
Summary: the most epic battle between 2 australians, what possibly could be so wrongu





	1. Chapter 1

It all happened when Paul mertens returned to teufort with his friend: llie mertens.  
Paullie didnt remembered that place, paul didnt visited that town since he was 14 yrs old.  
He and her friend reunited with their tf2 pals, paullie spend the day with BLU spy.  
paul began to do some work in mann co while paullie was with some turrets amd screeching.  
one day, while the mertens were walking, they saw RED demoman.  
paul: oh hello there.  
RED demoman:..  
Paullie: why is he staring at us.  
Then the demoman made a un-normally face.  
RED demoman: see.  
Paul:oh shit.  
paullie: what?  
Paul: its the seeman, we need to get out of here.  
paullie: i think i heard a horn..oh look, is that a torso?.  
Paul: oh god, its the snyphurr, we need to go away if we dont want to be a statue.  
As they ran away, they saw a bunch of freaks.  
Paullie:look!.  
paul: we have to go!  
as they go away, paul tell paullie to think that none of this happened.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, paul and her friend expended the day being at the slender fortress, wario ware, parkour fortress,etc.  
during the afternoon they started with tf2 business, paullie was wearing a blue T-shirt with the engineer logo on it, she was equiped the dispenser,sentry,etc and the demoman sticky bomb gun.  
Paul was wearing a red t-shirt with the medic logo, he was equiped with the übercharge thing.  
Paul: go!.  
Paullie: heres dispensers for y'all!.  
after hours of game, paul notice something, the place they were became dark, the sky was dark orange, and there was smoke, he heard screams.  
Paul: whats happening, i better find out.  
Paullie: i can hear elevator music!.  
paul:stay here.  
As paul walk away, he saw some dead bodies of RED and BLU teams.  
Paul: oh no.  
Suddendly paul saw something, a figure with a knife staring at him.  
Paul: it looks like sniper,but it looks diferent.  
the sniper figure turned to see paullie, who was building a sentry by hitting with a metal bar.  
paul:oh no, PAULLIE!.  
the figure went towards paullie.  
Paullie:what.  
Paul:behind you.  
Paullie: bitch i aint gotta look behind me.  
The figure stabbed her in the back, making open up her stomach, showing the intestines and some dark grey tentacles.  
the sign of critical hit appeared.  
Paullie began to puke blood, then she fell down,dead.  
the tf2 sound of domination appeared, and the sign that shows the player being killed by other user and the one who killed the player.  
Paul:oh no..  
The figure looked at paul.  
Mysterious sniper figure: "you're next."  
Paul: too cliché for a story.  
Then paullie stood up.  
Paullie: hahaha, dont you know about the respawn.  
then the figure vanished.  
Paul:what the hell happened.  
paul: can we go home now.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day paul was at one of the secret bases, trying to search more information about that mysterious figure.  
paullie was drinking booze from a red plastic cup  
Paul: i dont know what did i just saw.  
Blu spy: hmm, how does it look like.  
Paul: it looked like sniper, but the color of the clothes were dark, and his eyes were orange.  
Everyone was shocked, blu spy stared at paul.  
Then, a vortex appeared, then a man that looked like spy but with a white mask, suit,wings,etc.  
Paullie: holy shit, you come from the future?.  
???: no.  
Paul: who are you?.  
???: i am the christian pure spy and i heard your problem,you have just saw... the christian brutal sniper.  
Paullie: the cheeseburger sniper?  
Christian pure spy:no, the christian brutal sniper was once a red sniper, but then he was kidnapped by the BLU team, and they killed him, then he rise up from the grave to seek revenge.  
Blu spy: if he appeared, then the most dangerous freaks also appeared.  
Paul: also that explains why we saw some freaks like snyphurr, well it seems that i have to defeat is my only chance.  
Christian pure spy: are you sure, no one defeated him, but if you want, you can do it.  
Paul: thanks man, well, paullie, you have to stay with blu spy, if im not returning back, tell my parents that i love them.  
paullie: they know, see ya soon paul.  
Paul: see ya too, llie.  
christian pure spy: i'll go with you.  
Paul: now it´s time that cbs will meet his knightmare.


	4. Chapter 4

as paul went out of the base.  
paullie looked at blu spy.  
paullie: do you like picnics.  
Blue spy: we'll do that later.  
Paul was now outside, walking with cps.  
Paul: christian pure spy, do you have any locations of where is he?.  
Cps: yes, he's now at 2fort.  
Paul:lets go.  
later, they arrived at the place.  
CPS: good luck.  
Paul:thanks.  
Paul prepared his batman voice, and stuff to face against him.  
As he entered, he saw him.  
cbs turned his head to see paul.  
Knightmare: hey Christian brutal sniper, your worst knightmare has arrived.  
Paul you're gonna fuckin die  
Christian brutal sniper said with his australian accent: let me see how much blood is in you.

Then the battle started, it was so epic that it looked like those fights from dragon ball z.  
But meanwhile, paullie was at one of the nearest mcdonalds in the city, she was with merasmus, so they were using a computer.  
Merasmus: paullie, isn´t that paul fighting cbs?  
Paullie: how do you know that?.  
Merasmus: there´s some dark clouds on 2fort.  
Paullie: ok, well, let see if the people of the internet knew about this epic battle!, im just gonna type:``paul mertens and Christian brutal sniper´´.  
Paullie and merasmus were shocked.  
Paullie: is that paul?, and why is…, oh god.  
Merasmus: oh, that´s…  
Paullie: im still questioning about paul´s sexuality.  
Ok, back to paul´s epic battle.  
Hours passed during that fight, it was the most difficult one for paul.  
But unfortunately, paul was stabbed by CBS, then cbs throw him to the ground.  
Paul was lying on the floor, he saw his gengar hat and mask also on the floor.  
Christian brutal sniper looked at him and started to laugh, he picked paul´s mask.  
CBS: it´s like Christmas morning  
As he throw paul´s mask, paul stood up.  
Paul: behind you.  
CBS turned back, he couldn’t believe it, then paul violently pounced towards CBS and started punching him, paul screamed and ripped CBS´s eyes with his bare hands, and back to the punching.  
And thus started to appears paul´s theme:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-bX2SeFQ2k  
Then Christian pure spy appeared, he was surprise when he saw that paul was killing cbs.  
Christian pure spy: oh dear, PAUL, STOP IT, HE´S ALREADY DEAD!.  
Paul turned to see him, spy looked at Paul´s burnt face.  
Then paul continued with the punching, then he stopped.  
Paul: pass me his knife.  
CPS: what?  
Paul: HIS KNIFE.  
CPS:ok.  
CPS gave CBS´s knife to paul, then paul opened CBS´s chest with the knife, blood started to pour, Paul ripped CBS´s heart.  
Paul stood up, holding the heart, the organ started to beat fast, the heart set on a blue fire and it exploded.  
Paul: no one mess with a merutensu.  
CPS: it seems that you kill him.  
Paul: could you please give me my mask and gengar hat,please  
CPS gave to him his objects, paul put his mask and hat.  
Then a text appeared: Congrats, you became the jarate overlord.  
Paul: what.  
Text: sorry, you are now the freak overlord, here´s your reward!  
CPS: hey what you got?  
Paul: 69 cents  
CPS: ha,you know what it means…  
Paul: I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets.  
Suddenly, 2fort began to rustle, and a white beam appeared.  
Then, they were sent to a park, there was paullie sitting on a park bench,and blu spy  
Paullie: hey paul, you defeat him, congrats, do you want pizza.  
Paul: oh paullie.  
Paullie: thanks to you, the freaks are gone!  
Paul: oh.  
Paullie: thanks.  
And that day, paul was known as the one who killed the Christian brutal sniper.

The end


	5. Chapter 5

Epilogue:  
The mertens were on a elevator, paullie heard the elevator music.  
Paullie: paul?  
Paul: what?  
Paullie: this elevator music sounds very familiar.  
Paul: what do you mean?  
Paullie: because this song is one of your enemy´s theme, maybe something is returning, because this theme isn´t playing on the elevator  
Paul look shocked, he had the face of ``holy shit, IM FUCKED´´.  
Paullie: nah, just kidding!, the song is at the elevator!.  
Paul: oh you.  
After they go out of the elevator, paullie looked at him.  
Paullie: dude, someday I will talk to you about what I was doing while you were beating cheeseburger sniper.  
Paul: ok.  
The really end  
Fic made by skeletonhypetrain.  
Tf2 is from valve.


End file.
